The espousal of Mary and Joseph - a most perfect union
“All the treasures of God and of the Saints were in Mary,” says the Seraphic Doctor St. Bonaventure of the holy union between Mary and Joseph.
(PerMariam) — On January 23, the Catholic Church traditionally marks the beautiful feast of the Betrothal of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph. In honor of this feast, Father Philomeno James of the Marian Franciscans in Dundee, Scotland penned a reflection.
First published in the parish newsletter, it is reprinted here with permission. For those able to support the friars, they offer guidance here.
Perfect Union of Heart: The espousal of Mary and Joseph
The marriage of Joseph and Mary was decreed in Heaven. It is clear from more than one passage in the Holy Gospel that Mary was truly Joseph’s wife, and Joseph truly Mary’s husband.
It is also clear from the common opinion of the Fathers and the Doctors that both Mary and Joseph had made simple, conditional vows of virginity before their marriage, that they consented to the marriage knowing this of each other and that they took absolute and perpetual vows of virginity immediately after their marriage.
Such a solemn vow when taken before marriage invalidates the marriage, but not if taken subsequently. Everyone is at liberty to deny himself in regard to what belongs to him. Such a denial does not deprive him of the right of his property. You may own an enclosed garden without culling or appropriating to yourself even one of its flowers, making an offering of all to God’s Altar.
Mary did not cease to be Joseph’s spouse because She had bound Herself by a vow of virginity, nor did Joseph cease to be the true husband of Mary because he had consecrated to God his virginal purity. Thus a true marriage subsisted between them and all the more sublime in that it was more pure.
According to tradition, Joseph was pointed out as the spouse of Mary by a marvelous sign from Heaven, God Himself thereby giving testimony of his holiness and purity. The Blessed Virgin was certain to submit to the will of God in all that concerned Her, but it was a free and reasonable consent.
She knew that the head of the woman is the man, and God, who had liberated this Sovereign Virgin from the power of sin and Hell, had not emancipated Her from obedience to this law. She knew that in taking a husband She was taking a superior, a confidant of Her thoughts, a depositary of Her secrets and a witness of Her actions. Great glory therefore accrued to Joseph from God’s choice of him and Mary’s consent, but its splendor would have been incomparable increased if the priceless riches he received from that moment on could have been manifested.
Mary, as the Daughter of the Eternal Father, had been endowed with incalculable treasures of grace. These, so far as he was capable of being their recipient, were communicated to Joseph when Mary, accepting him as Her spouse, gave him Her Heart. For as St Bernadine of Siena taught, the glorious Virgin did not offer Her Heart to Joseph simply that he might know its movements and thoughts better than anyone else, but gave him Her Heart as his possession.
Who can form any conception of what that Heart contained? “All the treasures of God and of the Saints were in Mary,” says the Seraphic Doctor St. Bonaventure. This precious gift was to Joseph more than a glorious ornament. It was by this very dowry that he was enabled to sustain the august dignity of Spouse of the Immaculate Conception, establishing between the spouses a suitable uniformity. Joseph, then, received in dowry the Immaculate Heart of Mary. And with what completeness did Mary bestow it!
There is no question that of all spouses the glorious Virgin could bestow Herself with the most absolute entirety, for never was any so completely mistress of Herself and of all Her faculties. Of all marriages that of Joseph and Mary was the most holy and most perfect.
The union of hearts was more intimate than it ever was in any other marriage. Our Sovereign Lady in giving Her Heart united it so closely with that of Joseph that together they had but One Heart and the virtues and heavenly favors with which these beautiful souls were enriched became, in a manner common to both.
We may therefore behold in the marriage of Mary and Joseph not only the heavenly approval, sanctification and glorification of both the virginal and conjugal states, but also the most perfect type or icon of Marian Consecration after the supreme example of the Incarnation of the Word of God in the Womb of Our Lady.
It is always interesting to meditate on such a wonder-ful (in the true sense of the word) marriage.
You wrote: "Such a solemn vow when taken before marriage invalidates the marriage, but not if taken subsequently. Everyone is at liberty to deny himself in regard to what belongs to him."
You also wrote: "both Mary and Joseph had made simple, conditional vows of virginity before their marriage,"
So reflecting on this, I guess I am still not understanding how the marriage was valid (I mean, I know that is was, but I don't understand the technicality of how it was)? Because both Joseph and Mary had taken vows of virginity prior to the marriage, and as you wrote, this invalidates the marriage?
One explanation I heard once was that under Jewish law (which both would have still be under), the regulations were a bit different. But I'm not sure this satisfies my understanding either - or maybe I just need it more fully explained.
I would appreciate hearing any further thoughts you have on this.